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now all i do is smile​:​)​.

by tobi

/
1.
smile! 02:36
[Part I.] self righteous, I hide behind my vices, I try to find a way to stick to my devices - I’m trying my best to keep a clean chest but harassment keeps me in check I’m dying, my heart sunk when my lungs was frying If i am being honest I’m tired of trying my hardest and facing my monsters Fuck I regret being an artist. but I smile, smile through my problems, smile through my addictions knowing I can’t solve them Mommas words topping me over I lost my luck where the clover? I despise being sober cuz my thoughts ponder towards her My self image is diminished I feel incapable of loving a human being Guaranteeing im the reason she’s gonna be leaving, so im stuck here bleeding In a lost road, don’t know what im believing. Uh, don’t know what I’m believing… [Part II.] Tell me what I don’t know, darkness of my thoughts my angels are a no show I promise you I’ll stand tall before I go low Gotten this far I ain’t need the promo Smile is my logo I foreclose ya talent and give what you proposed Cold body, insecure man but God I embody Came a long way from tryna be somebody Now creativity is all that’s inside me Smile - through the racism Never frown - even when the pay is up, Listen to i what I say, fuck what they say of us Implications fucking me over, my bitch don’t love me but I won’t hold her Homeboy got her piece before me, that’s the type of culture that always ahold me Before thee, bars that match my insecurities Fuck maturity, all I ever was and am is filled with impurity, off the bottle Im filled with security Masterpiece brings tragedy, switch my flow how I ever mastered these? A magnum piece for me is lead in the head but for you is what you’re listening.
2.
The lands showered in a reputation of powder, caused by thieves in suits and flowers Youth deceased and with, the choice of ours You’ve deceived the cries and the cowards, to believe that we hold fate in between the hour So tell me, why should I smile when the rest of my life is in the wild and Pop still paying off the casket for his child? Why should every poster child stay close on dial and exemplify the rules of power? The River cries from the bottom, and the people follow hollow rules set by those with Zeros for commas Came with crosses cross their chest and their primadonna Ain’t ever had hope - Or a Pocahontas With no honor they pillage the land, mommas stressing names out their broken hands And when we took the stand, they shut us down and gave us diseases instead So when we was in the hood getting took by these rules set by crooks in bed with white hoods, You was relishing the dreams of embellishment, And history’s written by no gentleman so when sparks fly there’s no time for the editing We gave you riches with no sense credited, and your present is violence on our descendants and relatives Have you ever been in a place, where dark stains fog up your veins? Manipulations is strange when it reverse its strain on the same chains of the man who creates pain Moronic liars come and tear the truth apart with pliers, so I turn to vices since it’s how I deal with violence You can’t deny this, fuck the States we everything but United All I ever known was murders and crisis - you can’t unite us Only in pain are we not divided Fuck the righteous, always after advocates just like us, Pardon your highness, have to keep asking if I might live, You hate my culture but love our women, only vultures gentrify us Til we are given Little crowns, settle down white man smiling no need for frowns, took away the motherland - our holy crown. So don’t ask about my independence when my finances are in depth with the sentence of death you given us since 1524 You never know when a king might live but where he rose, my momma descended from El Salvador To bring you the prophet born from the ashes of the lord This is for those to whom I made a promise, to all my future sons and daughters I hope to create a world free from the doctrine Set on us by men in boats and gold sponsors To all those with no honor remember where you come from, land of God, union, and liberty We Conquer.
3.
born a failure, how’s it feel now that you can’t save him? My mind runs away to places that had me caved in, off the bottle complaining about past judges and cold pavements. I’m tracing the abusers on my skin, I’m craving to use her for my wins, And I’m dramatic combatting my lust by the masses but I can’t seem to break out my habit, too late for apologies - hypnotic thru those words I’ll always be. I was part of the mythology, men like me lack in quality but boom in quantity ripping rabbits from my conscience, girl of my dreams I lost it In the shallow river I lay at the bottom and shake the cause of all my problems, bed stained with lost solace Home breaking through loose columns, having trouble sticking to truth cuz all I can do is boot wrongs um And when time froze up, hope you don’t choke cuz your soul hold ups the reasons for love. Yeah… I’ve been thinking about it lately I was never alive, scrutinized by barriers all my life, too inferior to realize the real lies - running from the streets that reel eyes in, Paving the hatred for myself daily, war made me - turn to lust to soothe my ravings, I’m buff, sharing, cold relations with women thinking it’ll save me But all it do is take me. And she deserved better, but I can’t be with her, i admit my wrongs, Lost problems are brought up I lost the love Fucked up once, fucked up twice, I am the man with a shallow soul walking thru the night I am the man who sleeps with the bitch called life I am the man mistaken to walk with Christ, the one true messiah, ego taking shots at me through the fire, the prince drenched in purple thru the rain I admire Made songs with my inner riot, I desire to be the man y’all require, losing myself amidst the twisted wires Unplug my fire so I can peacefully breathe deep in my sleep when I retire, Fuck my values, living with the statues but let me show you how I devalue the weakest ever and how I be reaching the bleakest weather under deep professors I teach the lessons so you can see the false prefectures that we live in But fuck it, at this point… I ain’t even breathing Best believe I won’t be here next season, so listen close I reached a point where all I am is a ghost. And my most profound self lost itself on the road, what glitters ain’t gold, and we all wanna die old but nobody wants to face the life so cold So we stick around, walking in the desert with a shallow soul.
4.
5.
[verse 1] Chain reaction, post panic, sages singing I’m drowning in acid. go head and grab it, nobody’s judging they’re all passing I’m passive, regrets replaying by the masses I fucking hate saying I’m tragic, thinking bout myself my ego ain’t lasting, I should be fasting from my addictions, but karma always attacking [verse 2] guilt tripping, my minds slipping every time that I’m in it, and I’m suffering on my own, my throats suffering and I’m falling off my throne, set in stone muhfucka - throw me a bone this liquor pours, drowning in sand my soles burned. [verse 3] Lost souls trapped in a bargain, lost myself in a margin my brothers blood stains on the carpet, I couldn’t save him, rather I couldn’t stop him, he spoke to me about being a target, lost another brother to the market Hung by the bridge where we would discuss our problems Notice I’m hectic, over possessive and aggressive, all good things I wreck em But I was never Blessed with the gift to smile…
6.
Uh, picking the blood off my chest, remember holding his hand first time I was ever caressed I loved his affection, till I realized I couldn’t feel none for my brethren without being lesser I bleed red, just the same as all men I ain’t less a human just cause I love the rest plant the seeds, I seek the light - photosynthesize, I try to consume what gnaws my mind I fly high whenever I’m after the dream catchers My soul crooked - it captures Hope and I relapse to - old ways I’m a bastard He holds me captive, controlled my life inspired my rapping Mercy on my soul, what’s happening? I’ve been trapped in deep with bad men, lost myself with the masses Hiding who I am, a habit How can I grasp it? This is who I am, no man or woman present amongst this stance Who I love ain’t a mystery in advance, Told my momma who I was then she took the stand, so can you- Give me a chance? I gave it a shot now I got bloody hands, My soul expands to those like me stuck in a trance, Wondering if they understand, what it’s like to lock yourself away amidst the grassy lands My life has panned for the better and for once I feel grand, Please don’t take my freedom, rather, listen to these words and hang them up in a museum I need some peace in my life, we come far from the light, But still we see some glimmer of hope to turn our soul bitter and keep the fight alive Memories of the man I had loved now withered in bad blood, Know your feelings is valid, so I write for you this ballad, lost kid who found their balance, No longer challenged by denial or lost talent Accept myself only words I can inhabit, so I set free from my chains Embrace who I am for a change, love men, women, and everything Back to being human I deserve me a Diamond ring Uh, back to being human I deserve me a Diamond ring.
7.
Below my surface, got no idea where the earth is, My soul sold for nothing that’s when voices birthed in Curtains closed, my words worthless Don’t abide to what I preach truth be told, and I’m certain Nothings waiting for me just soulless words And lost cries of birds feeding me into the curb Forget what I learn for bleak days and empty crates I create from what I play Feel like carving a new scar, feel like destroying my own star Feel like going back to the start, She read me my cards yet what fell was the love from her heart Played me for the fourth, still don’t know what she want, I see it every time her iris looks across, she not into me cause I’m not exactly what she’d call love But I love her pretty lies, I love when she mistreats my deeds bringing me close to the demise How many times do I have to say goodbye? How many times do I have to stay alive? This is not my life, this just isn’t fine I just spit these rhymes, I just waste my mind Expecting something up from nothing in my time Emotional instability Closed my book now I lost my destiny Found identity in grief Lost and found upon release Punctured wounds own my soul, and I lost my lease Someone intervene This cry isn’t meant to be discreet How much red do I have to bleed just so I can breathe? Do I have the vision in me or is it that no one wants to see? I don’t wanna be forgotten But I have no choice cause I’m rotten This is peace This is liberty And life is nothing but my ending trumpet How many bitches do you look at in a day? I can see it in your eyes that all you do is stare, and I just watch your glares I can see your prayers I can see despair when you look at me and you say you care Don’t dare say you love me when not once I felt it fair You can talk to god Now go up them stairs Do you see me bleed? Or are you glad I’m out your hair Fuck your love Fuck your beauty Fuck everything you said to me This is it, motherfucker
8.
frown! 03:53
I was born in the darkness, born stuck in a locked room and empty closet Lost identity within I blocked it for my life, only to see that it caused more than strife But this is freedom, defeated my demons and threw them in the depths of a behemoth Relieving my life while worthless papers call out to what’s yours. Shut doors of my mental always has me striving to be successful, tides turn and tables yearn for my potential I’ll always be resentful, Put me in cuffs, but they couldn’t take my pride with it, I’m a handful And I wonder if you believe in me, but the thoughts of you deceiving me leaves my mind in these empty streets. I can’t breathe, wondering if I should choose my destiny or if I should Rest In Peace. I was burning my pain in blades till I realized being off the chain would never enhance change So listen to the words I tell ya, I’m an example of a man once drenched in paraphernalia Found a reason to live with much life to present ya And I smiled once in a while A poster child in the sidelines hoping to rile up their talent with a cap and gown All I see is frowns, self destructive behaviors incriminating their own sailors to sink deep down I know the feeling of being tired, I know the feeling of being tied up and shying trying to ignite more fire into the shine Little lies, incorporating stricken words that sicken turns and lead to your demise What I present is life bringing and essential to fulfillment We require commitment to our souls in order to prevent them from taking what’s yours This ain’t the word of man, these are cries from a poet of a distant land Grassy features and honored preachers reach out with little deceiving Cus when earth tilts we reach another season and with that we acquire new minds and new reasons Solar beaming is a sign to keep breathing, listen to these lines and keep increasing your steps If peace is only in death, then what’s life when you’re living in a den Locked away inside with nothing to prevent demons from getting beneath the bed Since a kid the seed was planted, it was up to me to water, grow and expand it, it died some, lived some, but it still gives son im not the man who sold the world rather I’m the man who finds solace in the war And If I found it within then your bound to never put on a frown again So open the door, get outta the shell and keep moving forth Keep the vision on course in order to find your worth Heartfelt verses from the core This is me and I’m the judge of my own court But I’m not a savior, just a prophet to bring you closure and containment Yeah, sincerely yours.

credits

released October 21, 2022

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tobi Houston, Texas

lil latino from bmore. taking inspirations from great artists and always tryna get better. i will be someone one day, the name tobi will mean a lot to a lot of people. i have a vision, and that vision will be seen. just time will tell. spread positivity, be good people, and one love.

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